Monday, August 23, 2004

The Daily Poke

THE DAILY POKE
World's biggest font discovered
Following the death of lithographer Keith Lankson, Inverness, a record-breaking font has been discovered amongst his papers.
Queen sues dentist
The Queen is to sue an emergency dentist whose impromptu surgery left her mouth looking like a point-blank shotgun wound in the side of a fat man.
Geordie star was a 'real tiger in bed'
A sexy but ultimately vapid Brummie lapdancer has revealed exclusively to The Poke that an ex-star of Saturday Morning Kid's TV was a real tiger between the sheets as she bedded either Ant or Dec out of Ant and Dec.
Footballers mock orphans
Five members of the Everton football team were arrested last night after spending an evening openly mocking the inhabitants of a local orphanage.
Liverpool make shock appointment
The late Bill Shankly has been officially unveiled as the new manager of Liverpool FC after the premature retirement of Gerard Houllier.

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