Tuesday, August 24, 2004

I'll treat you with customer service when you pay me, then you'll be a customer

Annoying person This order didn't get onto the market, the error message was "unbelievably stupid price rejected in unbelievably stupid price checks".
Me Yes?
Annoying I think it might be a bug in system X.
Me No, it's a reject from the stock exchange.
Annoying Are you sure? The price was valid?
Me No, that's definitely a reject from the stock exchange.
Annoying But it's a valid price.
Me (Doubtfully) Are you sure? You tend to get that error when the exchange thinks the price is way off the mark.
Annoying I think you'd best check the system X logs, and the system Y logs, and maybe the system Z logs. In fact, go through the historic logs as well and see how often it's happened in the past because it's probably a system bug. It's really crap that you don't monitor for these errors, what with it being a major bug, perhaps you'd best summarise the entire monitoring system as well.
Me But it's not a technology error!
Annoying Perhaps we should get the grand high head of this trading division on this call so we can discuss your team's scope.
Me What?
Annoying I mean, I know it's system X because I know everything.
Me Errr .... but I've been doing this job for the past three years and I know that error message is generated by the exchange. Look, it's got an exchange code on it.
Annoying That's probably system X simulating it, hello, grand high head of this trading divion?
Grand high head Hi Annoying, what's the problem?
Annoying Laphroaig doesn't feel it's his job to do support.
Me (Laughing nervously) It's just there's this reject message and ...
Grand But you are the support team, right?
Me Yes
Grand So, let's just deal with this support issue.
Me But, er ...
Grand Appreciate it. Thanks. (Hangs up)
Me Ummm. It's definitely an exchange reject.
Annoying But I know that exchange doesn't check the price.
Me Yes, it does.
Annoying No, I know it doesn't.
Me Do you have some kind of medical condition which prevents you admitting that you could ever be wrong about anything?
Annoying I don't know, I've never done anything wrong to know. So, why is system X rejecting my perfect order?
Me (In tears of frsutration) It isn't.
Annoying Could you get back to me, by, say the end of the day?
Me But it is the end of the day.
Annoying (While penning e-mail to me, cc-ing a huge distribution list, saying I am refusing to do support and subtle questioning my competence) God we must have lost so much money off that order. How do you spell "lazy" by the way?
Me But ... but ... but ... IT'S NOT A TECHNOLOGY PROBLEM.
Annoying (Sighing patronisingly, as if I say this on every phone call) Really?
Me I think you're thinking of the London Stock Exchange, they don't do price checks. This exchange does millions of them.
Annoying But the price was valid. Could you look into that?
Me (In a conciliatory, all-friends-together tone) Well technically it's not my job (smiles good-naturedly) but ...
Annoying Hello, super-head of trading division? Laphroaig is saying ...

Lord save me from people who know about programming ... think they know everything. As someone once pointed out: twelve year olds know how to program, it can't be that hard.


At 8:11 pm, Blogger Trinity said...

idiots. I hate idiots. They ring my ward bell. 'Hello' I say
'I want to visit John Smith' they say
'Well he isn't on this ward' I say
'No he is on Otter ward' they say
'well ring bloody otter wards sodding button then grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Feckers'

I need anger management xxx


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