Monday, August 23, 2004

Umbrellas are such selfish creatures



The British weather has shown its true colours: rain, heavy, determined, downpouring rain. Amongst many this spells gloom ... except for me, because inside I have a secret; I know that some day, some day soon, I will have a RAGING SCREAMING NERVOUS BREAKDOWN and then go buy some Wellington boots and splish-splosh in the puddles. Hmmm, best check the weather reports before I stop taking the medication.

Umbrellas are very selfish devices. I am not under the delusion that they somehow have minds of their own (although sometimes I wonder), it's just that people seem to forget that when they're wielding an umbrella, they're wielding a bit metal pointy thing at approximately my eye height. I mean, if I was wielding a whacking great big mace as I walked through Stratford station, swoosh, swoosh, swoosh, I might expect some nasty looks; in fact the swirling of medieval weaponry around my head might be thought to be selfish and dangerous, yet somehow the use of the umbrella to impale random members of the public is just fine.

I am feeling petulant today. Too much work to do and too few people to do it. Grumble.

3 Comments:

At 5:02 pm, Blogger Trinity said...

no need to worry if you need to put wellingtons on first...time to worry is when you strip naked in the rain singing cheeky girl songs

 
At 11:21 pm, Blogger laphroaig said...

No, I always do the strip naked thing slowly and erotically, singing "My Name is Talula".

 
At 8:11 pm, Blogger Trinity said...

hello Talula

 

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