Friday, October 01, 2004

Complaints should be addressed in rhyming couplet form

What is that drumming. Can you hear it? Far away. Getting closer. Why that would be ... the rush of my own blood in fury.

Bloody traders. You work a sixty hour week for them and do they appreciate it? No. Whinge whinge whinge. And can you say in your mail you're working a sixty hour week for them? No, because that would be petty. And showing off. And would be indulging in a game of one-upmanship.

The following sentence found its way into my e-mail reply ...
with respect, the entire world does not revolve around you and your demands.
... but was subsequently deleted for reasons of job security, as were ...
do you know the hours I've worked this week?
... and ...
unfortuately I've had to spend a lot of time on system X, rather than your complaints, if system X crashes all of your colleagues (all 200 of them) stop work, whereas system Z is merely getting on your nerves a bit; explain to me how I've got the priorities wrong here you whining selfish bastard
... and ...
we're stretched very thin at the moment, the team has had one member sacked and a second is on holiday; you've actually received far greater indulgence on non-critical items than most other users but I'm sure I could review that to give greater equality to your colleagues (you whining selfish bastard)
... actually most of that last one remained, apart of the unspoken threat to stop doing any work for him (and the reference to him being a whining selfish bastard).

There was a presentation yesterday about our division. Plenty of rumours have been initiated about my team; everybody thinks I am going to take over the world. I assure them I am not (and then give them a twinkling smile that says "of course, I couldn't tell you if I was, all very hush hush, but let's just say I'm a happy man"). Rumour and gossip is so much fun. In rumour and gossip world I am a king ... in real life I am support bitch. Sigh.


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