Sunday, October 10, 2004

Friends who don't make the effort

I can harly get upset about them, I'm one of those friends.

Due to my near supernatural levels of holiday allowance I am working a four day week and am considering what to do with my extra day. See friends, I think, have lunch (clearly an all-day lunch might not be practical, but as an idea it certainly appeals), try and remember all of those things you used to do.

So I desperately try to remember who my friends are. I've definitely had some in the past, I have I have I have.

I contact one of them. (He lives and work in the same bloody city, for crying out loud, why should I have to take a day off?)

And I suddenly think: I'm always contacting him, he never contacts me, we never actually meet up, he's always telling me how busy he is (which personally I find a little insulting, given the hours I work) and I'm beginning to get a hazy image in the air, an impression of him, a subtext he is sending telepathically, I can almost see it, two words, just two words, they say ... fuck off.

The point is when my friends contact me (having waited months for me to make the effort) I am genuinely pleased to hear from them, I don't tell them how busy I am.

At what point is being socially incompetent (he is) phasing into "I don't want to be around you and if you continue to stalk me I'll call the police?" The thing is I've done this to people - just stopped communicating when I want them to go away - but I've done it with commitment, I haven't been caught out and turned namby-pamby "I'm so sorry, it's my anwserphone, it eats everyone's calls", I've made the message pretty bloody clear. That's the polite thing to do: be rude.

The thing is, this person is very pleasant and polite and I think that's the problem. Rudeness isn't in their portfolio. Whereas I can happily be the nastiest person I know, this person just hasn't got the bile / backbone / traumatised youth that they can channel in my direction.

What's the world coming to when people can't be rude to each other?


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