Sunday, October 03, 2004

This is laphroaig calling to ensure you are aware that I do not have a life

I decide to chill. This is my cool and funky street-slang way of saying that I decide to do nothing, as part of which I hire some DVDs.

DVD player breaks. The damn bloody thing. Also, while hiring DVDs I notice the only electrical retailer has shut down.

Still, I'm feeling as perky as a porn star who's spotted the washing-machine repair man and so I think "I know, I'll call one of my many friends and invite myself around their place and we can hang out and it'll be like an episode of 'Friends' and maybe some other cute guy will be there and we can make out (I only use the phrase 'make out' due to the Friends theme) and ..."

Update number one. I have no friends. At least, none in this vicinity. How selfish of them not to move to London the moment I did. I am very disappointed with them. I ponder the practicality of "dropping in" to Milton Keynes, but given the two hour journey decide this will make me look as sad and pathetic as I'm beginning to feel.

Instead, I phone Hien. Why oh why oh why oh why? "Hi, it's that guy from work just phoning on a Saturday to let you know how pathetic I am and stuff". He does not have a DVD player. He invites me round out of pity, I explain that I am not that pathetic and that there is nothing sad or desperate about someone hiring videos and having a night in all by themselves and can he recommend any really good anti-depressents?

He is going to smile at me knowingly on Monday. I will have to pretend I misdialled or something, that I was going for speed-dial-1 but got speed-dial-11111 instead. Because that's how popular I am.

Why do I care? I don't want to be popular; it's so time-consuming. But ... I wouldn't mind other people thinking I could be popular.

Sob sob sob.

On the other hand, watched films on faithful computer. Goodbye Lenin: not bad. Runaway Jury: mostly rubbish, but possibly because I've read the book and thought that pretty awful as well.

Now I have to go and take an overdose.

2 Comments:

At 10:33 pm, Blogger Trinity said...

fuck man I'd watch DVDS with you as long as it's not some Hugh Grant shit or Chuck Norris. Guess I'm even further than Milton Keynes though.

 
At 1:32 am, Blogger Corgan Dane said...

Why is it that friends can't realize they should be where we are? My friends keep not following me, too, and I just don't understand.

Maybe I should invest in some bribery...that might clear things up.

 

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