Monday, October 11, 2004

What is it about drunk people?

I'd like to pretend that I don't like drunk people because they are loud, because they are uncouth, because they are unpredictable and disruptive and inane and just generally irritating. But today I have had an insight. I dislike drunk people because they are usually happy. Happy as little lambs. And frankly, they have no right.

When I am happy I smirk contentedly to myself so as not to throw other people off balance by a disturbing show of boisterous smiling and laughing. I am aware that by doing so I prevent road traffic accidents, terminal depression and all kinds of everyday unfortunate accidents in those around me, and the knowledge that by not displaying my happiness like a three year old I am saving lives makes it all seem worth it.

But drunk people ... no, they have to be selfish. They have to indulge themselves and cavort like children, laughing at stupid jokes (instead of at intellectual and well-delivered witticisms), yelling like elevan year olds on a sugar high (instead of fostering an air of self-contained contentment). Not for them the considerations of others around them. Nooooooo.

Why are drunk people so annoying? Most of them are just happy. And yet they are. Very annoying.

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