Friday, September 16, 2005

And what was my name again?

I have gone consumer crazy.

No, that's wrong.

I've turned middle-class.

No, that's wrong too. I was always middle class. I've actually been purchasing like a middle-class person, getting excited about pillow covers and that sort of thing. If I remember correctly there was a very derogatory monologue in Fight Club about people who measured themselves by what kind of coffee table they owned, which I sort of agreed with but given that this was the view of a split personality schizoid anarchist I feel there's a little room for manoeuvre.

What is really remarkable about such people is that they can remember what their rooms look like when they're away from them. I can't. Standing, fairly lost, in the flagship of a certain department store I pondered what would be suitable. What colour was my bathroom now? Ummmm. Things began to go hazy from there. My initial, daring choice of brown failed under the confidence test ("it's daring, but it could just look awful"), similarly the black-and-white polka dots was culled ("I don't think it really goes with the ... umm ... aqua blue (?) that's already there") and the theme of large writing labelling everything appealed for only a short time (I felt it could give people the wrong impression, e.g. that shower curtain was written on the shower curtain to remind me because I was mentally defective rather than as an amusing counterpoint in internal design). At one point I was worried my bathroom was avocado green, which, happily, it was not.

The bedroom was a source of even more excitement (I sentence which very rarely makes it into my world): "yes," I thought, "I'll have a Chinese theme and a jewel-encrusted padded, ummm, blanket?" and then worried even more about colour clash; this is riseable, my bedroom is buried under so many clothes it could already have a Chinese theme and I would not know about it.

I vaguely feel that if I met the me from ten years ago he would look down upon me as, well, shallow.

However, I would have a nicer coffee table than him.


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